Facebook Follies & Xmas Weekend 2010

Below is something I typed in response to a lot of very nice people at Facebook that wished me a happy birthday. I admit it up front ... I'm a Facebook novice, not at all familiar in the quirks and oddball behavior that may operate there, but nowhere else in the civilized world.

See, the piece that I wrote is fairly lengthy by Facebookian standards. As such, I used my typical format, which features the radical concept of paragraph breaks. You know ... a double-space between each paragraph to indicate a change of thought or location or perhaps underwear.

As every writer worth his salt once learned (probably in early elementary school), paragraphs are important. I've tried to live by that rule ever since the 3rd Grade, when Miss Ishioka complimented me on my sentences and especially the paragraph structure. My structure was solid, man! (Thus revealing the source of my long-standing crush on Miss Ishioka). Point is, the text and its format were no exception to the most rudimentary rules of basic grammar.

Except, it seems, at Facebook. Double-spacing to indicate a paragraph break doesn't exist (or so I found). Every attempt I made to post resulted in an extra unrequested blank line (and sometimes a bonus of two!) to be inserted. The only other option was to have it all run together without any breaks at all That is inconceivable to me. So, with so much excess barren space between paragraphs, the piece looks like, if you pardon the word, shit. It's ugly and I don't like it one little bit.

Yeah, call me Mr. Fussypants if you want. It won't change my mind one iota. It's basic. I expect whatever you, I or anyone posts to make its appearance in the exact same form the well-meaning poster intended. Am I right or am I wrong?

Some people have asked me why I don't spend more time with Facebook. This is a prime example why not. *snort*

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Anyway, now that THAT'S over with, here's what I wanted to say in reply to everyone that noted the inauspicious occasion of my dropping some 61 years ago:

To those who took the time to come by and throw nice words at me, I humbly say thank you. Be ye a friend, a family member and/or someone I've come to know in the world of pro rez or anywhere else, I am truly pleased that you did.

Quickly, I'll pass along that I greatly enjoyed this past Saturday and Monday in Powell River, spending time with Li'l Cindi's parents and younger brother. (Yes, Li'l Cindi was there, too. What are ya, a wiseguy or sumpin')? I won't place Sunday in quite the same sphere of enjoyment, having downed a bad piece of something or other I really shouldn't have eaten during Saturday night's Bacchanalia.

Hoo boy ... It's been 20 years minimum since I last had to assume so many anatomically absurd positions whilst desperately clinging to the throne. Which pretty much sums up Sunday, from about 1 a.m. and all through the day. Sorry, there are no photos available.

Still, that failed to dampen the fun of hangin' 'round with the Family Augustine, no matter what minor setbacks befell this innocent. Mom and Dad Augustine are the youngest "older people" that I know, both in appearance and attitude. And 99-year-old Grandma is every bit the same. That means they all need careful watching.

And younger brother John is one of the bravest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. The guy is 40 (or close to it), and has been fighting (and overcoming) a mountain of what most would call disabilities. Yet, he can still keep up and fire off one-liners with the best of 'em. I know for a fact that I'd never have been able to withstand that which is routine to him. I'll get the opportunity to see him again late in March, when the Augustine Three come to Vancouver to visit.

Really, the whole bunch (including aunts and uncles, their children and their animals) are so full of life and good cheer that you can't help feeling much the same way, too. (My team of investigators assure me that it comes naturally to them, which for no reason within my grasp, troubles me).

And so, like it or not, I can proudly proclaim that I managed to survive Christmas 2010. However, do you not agree that it's just a wee bit odd that the only one to have had an adverse reaction of any kind was the Jew? I'm only sayin' ... don't that seem jest a little strange to you? (insert forced laugh here)

Otherwise, I hope everyone that reads this had themselves a fun-filled and joyous holiday with one more bash to go (if you're into that sort of thing). But let's all make a point of treating ourselves and others with both the respect and humor we all deserve. After all, it's a proven fact: if you smile at everyone you meet, before long you'll find people saying, "What's so damn funny?"

With hugs for one and all (for the guys, of the manly variety only ... in most cases),

= Richard =

P.S. Oh, yeah. About my birthday. Spent the day doing housework, which is unusual behavior for me any time of the year. I have no idea what inspired it, and I'm sure this form of illness will be long gone by morning.